Owen's Prediction
| Those of you who know Scott, know that he is obsessed with taking showers. He is a hygiene-freak, bordering on obsessive-compulsive when it comes to bathing. Based on this fact, brother-in-law Owen has drafted a prediction as to what might transpire if good ol' Scotty has a mishap when "hovering" over a Guatemalan latrine. |
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Just don't slip on the hover
maneuver. That could cost you years and millions in counseling.
I can hear the dialogue now....
Location: Shwanky psychiatrist's office in North Austin. The year is 2010. Scott: I was Ok with the dirt floor. Sweeping made it better. Shrink: Good Scott. You were accepting your lack of control over your environment. That is a healthy release. Scott: I was even Ok with bathing once a quarter so we could have water to drink. It was a fair trade off. Shrink: How did you feel about your wife drinking the water you could be using to wash yourself with? Scott: So selfish of her...no, no, I didn't mean that. It was all fine until the day. Shrink: The day? What happened Scott? Scott: (Sobbing uncontrollably) I,,,,,,I,,,,i can't talk about it. I almost can't even remember what happened. It was all a blur. (more sobbing). I can't go on. Shrink: Scott you have been coming to see me now for 6 years. It's time for you to go on. Scott: Ok. The mystery meat dinner smelled wrong but it looked so right. I knew I shouldn't have eaten all of my serving and the other 6 portions. Shrink: Go on. Scott: I was hovering over the open pit we called a bathroom. I was there for 3 hours, it wasn't my fault. Shrink: It's Ok Scott, you can trust me. Scott: My foot, it was on some loose sandy soil. It slipped.........(agonized crying now) I fell naked... caboose-first into the pit and I couldn't reach the........... Shrink: Scott?....... Scott?.......... Edna bring in the smelling salts. He has passed out again. Maybe you should start studying under the resident squat master - the female in your house.
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